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SRS, Transition & Miscellaneous Questions
Any longterm estrogen use can cause atrophy (permanent shrinkage) of genital tissue. However, my case was extreme in that I was on HRT for nearly 20 years. Most people have SRS sooner, so shrinkage isn't a problem. However, keep track of any shrinkage (you can tell if your tissue is shrinking if it's painful when you get an erection). This is important if you're small to begin with. If your tissue has atrophied you may need skin grafts, besides the normal scrotal graft. To prevent shrinkage there are two things you can do: 1) Stimulate yourself (you know what I mean). 2) back off your hormones and, if you're taking one, anti-testosterone drug. If you want an accurate opinion on whether you have enough tissue for adequate depth see a surgeon experienced in SRS.
Choosing the right surgeon is a combination of objectivity and intuition. Ask as many post-op women as you can who they went to and their level of satisfaction. If you can, look at some results personally. Every surgeon has patients who had complications or are dissatisfied, even the best.Don't rely on one bad experience or horror story you hear. Look at the photos on Anne Lawrence's site for the ones that are most pleasing. Use your intuition - which surgeon feels right? If you can, visit the top couple surgeons on your list in- person before your SRS. If he makes you feel at ease and confident he might be your surgeon. If you have a preference for the one-step surgery (Brassard, Menard, Preecha) or two-step surgery (Meltzer, Schrang) that will narrow down your choices. If cost is a concern the best prices are in Thailand. I sometimes get asked about vaginal lubrication and if something was done surgically to cause it. There was nothing done by Dr. Brassard specifically to make me lubricate. I secreted a slippery substance from the base of my scrotum for years after starting hormones; it's most likely estrogenically-caused. Since the scrotum is used in SRS, it makes sense that I'd produce the substance post-op. The entire inner area of my labia and vagina are usually covered with a substance that's no different, in scent and feel, from what a GG produces. Q: Through the years have you felt like you had two different views of yourself, one male and one female? I ask this because of you said you would take hormones, but were scared to go on because it was like you were becoming someone else. I am TS but, sometimes out of touch with my feminine identity. It makes me wonder how I would feel if I had already transitioned and occasionally felt this way. Have you had any feelings of disillusionment or disappointment after transitioning? Has transitioning solidified you female identity? Were your earlier fears justified? If I'd seen an experienced gender therapist (this was in the 70s when there weren't many trans resources) I probably would've resolved this conflict at a young age. When I first went full-time I had some periods of doubt that lasted about five minutes and were soon gone. After a few months the doubts went away completely and I've had no regrets or second thoughts. So, yes, transitioning has solidified my female identity. My only regret now is the stopping and starting I did in my 20s. Q: You've have a unique perspective in that you've experienced life as a male and a female. What differences have you noticed in the way you were treated as a man and as a woman? I guess there are a few advantages to having been born male though not many! What I first noticed is the world is kinder and gentler to women. From the obvious things, like having doors held open and people smiling more, to something that delighted me when I first transitioned. There's an unspoken camaraderie among women that says, even when talking to a stranger: I know you're safe and non-threatening and I can trust you. When dealing with a strange man a woman has to be on her guard and not as open. I've experienced, what most every woman has, being treated like a child by men and my ideas not taken seriously or not listened to. Men take note, this is a major complaint of women! The hierarchy of white males on the top, and women second, becomes obvious. There's still inequity in women's wages and promotions (glass ceiling). For example, only 3% of corporation CEOs are women. Also, men don't understand how they take up, and intrude upon, other people's space. A woman is more aware of her immediate surroundings and more readily yields when someone approaches. Whereas a man tends to barge ahead and make people move around him. Women sit in a more contained manner, whereas men tend to spread themselves out and intrude into other's space. I've had men sit so close to me on a bus that I've had to scrunch myself as far as I can against the side of the bus, and sometimes even that doesn't work! Also, women's restrooms are generally cleaner. Does that mean men are slobs? Noooo, who would think that? Q: Are male-to-female transsexuals women? Some people, obhviously, tend to have misconceptions about transsexuals. That's understandable considering how we're confused with crossdressers and drag queens, and portrayed on TV shows like Jerry Springer. Michael Bailey's, The Man Who Would be Queen further muddles accurate information. Woman and female, often used synonymously, describe two different things, i.e. woman is gender and female is sex. Gender is how we present to society: as a man or woman or anywhere between the two. Sex is determined by chromosomes, anatomy and biology. Since transsexual women have a deep, core identity of being female in essence they are women who, through hormones and surgery, are aligning themselves with their gender identity. Obviously, some transsexual women don't pass well in public. But they have female identities and should be treated as such. It's easy to ridicule transsexuals. If people understood how hurtful this is and that they've most likely already endured harassment and taunting throughout their lives, been rejected by friends and family and / or lost jobs - they might think twice before being disparaging. Gender is what's between the ears, not between the legs. Q: How have your family and friends accepted you? My mother has known about me since I started dressing in her clothes at nine. She's always been supportive and accepting [I love you mom!] and said, "I don't care how you're dressed." She encouraged me to transition by pointing out I needed to come to terms with myself, when I was vacillating back and forth. We've become even closer since SRS. I've had no contact with my father, except for a few visits, after my parents were divorced when I was nine. I don't think he ever knew about me. My friends have been wonderfully accepting and supportive. Except for not hearing back from a longtime pal after I sent him a letter about my transition, I've lost no friends and gained others. Unfortunately, many of my sisters face discrimination, violence, loss of employment, family and friend rejection.
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