tara's journal | lastest entries | tara's transgender resources & tara's place!

04.25.10

I'm sorry it's been so long since an update! Repairs are complete on the duplex and we have renters in the opposite side. They are paying a good deal of our mortgage and we give them a (hopefully) good home. We cleared a space in the back year for a garden and are thinking about getting chickens!

I've picked up the guitar again, and Nancy and I have talked about getting electronic drums. I've played them and she wants to learn! Rock on!

11.16.09

We've been busy with real estate and the duplex we recently bought. We were glad to get out of our small, one-bedroom apartment. Being homeowners offers a lot of opportunity (building equity, income) as well as work, and it seems there's always something that needs repair!

06.16.09

While walking home from a store I saw this young man, probably sleeping off a drinking binge, got out my trusty Canon Powershot camera and got this shot. His sign reads: "Need Samurai sword to regain my honor." I can only guess what the backstory is...

07.25.08 - High gas prices - can there be anything good?

When gas prices soared over $4.00 a gallon I saw a cloud with a silver lining. Though I place the blame for high energy prices squarely on the shoulders of our current administration for not encouraging alternative energy, high-milage autos, etc. I knew it would forever alter the behavior of Americans and people around the world. We're already seeing the effects: hybrid vehicles are flying off dealers' lots, more people are using public transportation and SUVs, and other large vehicles, are sporting For Sale signs. And, as a bicycle rider, I'm seeing Portland's already polite drivers give me even more deference at intersections even when they have the right-of-way. Even before the price of gas started going over $3 a gallon, I told myself that if I bought a car again it would be a diesel that ran, or could be converted to run, on biodiesel (when the diesel engine was invented it ran on peanut oil) or a hybrid.

I've done some research into gizmos that claim to dramatically increase fuel milage, but really didn't know which ones worked, if any. By work I mean a significant increase in gas milage like 50%, not just 10 or 15 percent and wasn't prepared to spent hundreds on books/manuals until I found one that really delivered. I saw a news story about a man in Millersburg, OR who doubled his truck's gas milage by using distilled water, baking soda and $200 in parts and instructions. This wasn't some website promoting a book, but a real person in my home state. It looked easy enough for anyone with some tools and a modicum of mechanical expertise.

11.21.07 - Accused transgender murderer found!

Accused transgender murderer, David Wayne French, captured in S. Dakota! I knew Frank Johnson, the victim.

08.18.07
Tara interviewed for upcoming Rachel Shteir book!

I was recently interviewed by author Rachel Shteir [The G-String Murders, Femmes Fatales: Women Write Pulp, and Striptease: The Untold History of the Girlie Show] for a book she's writing on shoplifting. She found this website and read My Story, wherein I described a period when I was too embarrassed to buy girl's clothes and makeup and resorted to shoplifting [Now I buy them like other people]. Hopefully, I can get a signed copy when her new book is published! Check back for updates.

I'm working on finishing my autobiography tentatively titled, Who She Wants to Be: Diary of a Transsexual Woman and am looking for an agent. If you are an agent and interested in helping publish my autobiography please email me! You can read the first chapter here!

08.06.07

If you got here by way of the old URL, then you know I moved this website to a new domain. Though it's the same, I've trimmed some dead wood and made cosmetic improvements. I value my visitors and want to provide accurate and interesting information, as well as peeks into my life, but foremost my goal is helping my sisters and brothers just starting their journey.

I found Jesus, he was behind the couch . . .

I don't know why I found that funny when I first read it years ago—probably due to consuming a mind-altering herb. Since my 20s, I'd been critical of Christians and Christianity in general; growing up with adults who attended church on Sundays - were kind and pious, then stabbed each other in the back the other six days of the week and because of their objections and condemnation of GLBTQ folk. Can you say hypocrite?

I first discovered the GLBT-friendly church MCC, or Metropolitan Community Church, when I used to attend a trans support group at one of their locations in Portland, but was still too turned off to Christianity to go to any of their services. Years later, I found myself looking at MCC's website and noting how progressive and modern it looked—not the stuffy, sleep-inducing messages of other churches. Then one day I was talking to a post-op friend who said she'd met a mutual friend at MCC. At the time, I was going through depression that neither therapy, nor antidepressants, helped much. I asked if she'd like to go to a service and she said she would.

Next Sunday, dressed and madeup, we attended MCC's 11AM service. As soon as I walked in and saw people smiling at us I felt I was in the right place. These were all (or mostly) gays, lesbians and transgenders in a Christian church! We were greeted warmly, handed bulletins and found seats.

From the beginning of the service, I started sobbing and continued to throughout; the pain of my depression pouring out. When I got up to receive communion, not having attended a Christian church since childhood, I wasn't sure what to do, but watched the others. When it was my turn I opened my mouth, was given the little wafer dipped in grape juice, hesitated a few seconds then started to walk away. The server gently pulled me back and started speaking. I don't remember every word, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. I was smiling and happy when I got home; it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

I've continued to attend MCC, have become a member and even became a communion server—an honor I respect. Where's all this going? I know the pain, hardship, rejection and suffering we can endure. If you're going through a particularly hard, or painful, time think about checking to see if there's a MCC in your area (they are worldwide). They might help! MCC / MySpace

assistant pastor Wes Mullin's going away party

02.03.07

Why is my mug next to Tara Conner - the now former Miss USA?

Besides the fact that we share the same name and pronounce it the same [Tar - a, not Ter - a], I admire her. In case you hadn't heard, Tara nearly lost her crown for hard partying in New York nightclubs involving alcohol and cocaine, but was given a second chance by Donald Trump (who owns the Miss USA pageant) if she sought treatment. She did and recently ended a 31-day stint at Caron Foundation rehab center in Wernersville, Pa. Last night she was on Jay Leno. She was honest, almost matter-of-fact about her alcoholism and recovery. Conner was poised and even joked with Leno, though didn't give any excuses for her excesses [it's been reported there was sexual abuse as a child]. She appeared to be an intelligent and levelheaded woman. That's my kind of Miss USA!

There wasn't the moralizing of other pageants, like Miss America*, where if someone digs up a nude photo of a winner [gasp!] they take her crown. I mean, come on, they strut around in swimsuits that cover 1/10th their bodies.

*The Miss America pageant began in 1921 as a tourist draw in Atlantic City.

12.10.06

My friend Diedra and I were driving to Fry's and, along the way, stopped at Evergreen Aviation Museum home of the Spruce Goose. Besides the aforementioned behemoth [the name of Hughes wasn't thrilled with] there were a plethora of aircraft, tanks, etc.

09.11.06

Tara gum? It's not a new flavor from Wrigley!

While scooping out some Breyers Vanilla Bean ice cream, that I didn't like—it had a metallic taste—to go with a slice of pumpkin pie ... ok, two slices, I looked at the ingredients and thought I saw Tara gum. Thinking I might be reading it wrong because it's after 2:00 am - doesn't everyone eat pie and ice cream after 2:00 am? I looked closer and there it was: Tara gum, made from the Tara tree! Gosh! It was nice of them to name a tree after me!

Tara gum links
Consumerist on Tara gum
A Daily Scoop
geek explanation

05.17.06

From the giggle dept: I was putting clothes in a dryer in our apartment building's laundry room, when the assistant manager walks and says, "You're going to laugh at me, but on the monitor the [pink] color of your shirt made me think your were naked." Apparently, some people have stripped down and literally washed the clothes on their backs! I hope none were residents—that'd be barfy!

03.23.06
Short history of this website

It began in 1997, the year I was fired from my job [a blessing in disguise] and went full-time. I started with Netscape's simple webpage editor, knowing nothing about website design. In the beginning, it was just a few pages, then I acquired Macromedia's Ultra Developer [Dreamweaver on steriods]. I bought a $35 Macromedia how-to book that I now use as a base for a subwoofer and found Ultra Developer's tutorials easier to follow. I spent many nights burning the midnight oil l until my eyes looked like hatching eggs. Over the years it's evolved into what you now see, that I'm pretty happy with.

I've tried to make this website as user-friendly as possible, providing some interactive elements and eye candy without excessive load times and am constantly making improvements and updates. If you find a bad link, please bear with me (I check the links on this website periodically—websites move or are taken down; it's an inevitable part of the Internet).

1.17.06

Last night Felicity Huffman [Desparate Housewives], who starred as a pre-op MTF transsexual in TRANSAMERICA, won a Golden Globe award for best actress and Brokeback Mountain won best picture! A double whammy for gay and trans films! On Sunday [01.16.07] Felicity Huffman was on 60 Minutes. I was impressed with her honesty, forthrightness and the research she put into the role, including going to support groups and learning about SRS and it came through in her performance.

Only part of Huffmans's 60 Minutes interview was on TRANSAMERICA. At first this annoyed me, then I realized something. We are becoming mainstream enough that a 60 Minutes segment didn't focus totally on TG issues; it was just part of Ms. Huffman's acting career.

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